Six months in the life of...

Well, I have to say it's certainly been a while, since my last blog, (or should that be confession!!) ... Here's a brief summary of the last few months.

January/February. Bleak, dark and torrential rain, and what am I doing during this wonderful weather?....moving house.  I've enlisted the help of a willing volunteer /conscript who, having spent several days staggering under the weight of numerous sofas, (why do I have so many?), a couple of oak sideboards, umpteen tables, enough chairs to seat an army, and a couple of antique beds, is getting a teeny bit tetchy.  "Have we about done?" he enquired hopefully, wrestling with a nine foot long brass curtain pole that was refusing to go in the van.  "Erm, well almost" I replied in my most encouraging voice. "There's just the fish now". "Oh? You have a goldfish ?" he sounds surprised, "No problem I'll get a plastic bag for it".... "Think we might need this" I corrected, handing him a massive net and leading him into the garden where a dozen or so extremely large koi were swimming happily in the pond.  I can't actually print the conversation that followed, way too many bleeps!!  Anyway, a short time later, during which we both spent a considerable amount of time floundering about in the pond, (I've heard of swimming with dolphins, but never with koi), said fish are now on the way to their new abode, and volunteer on his way to nearest pub!!

March/April. Much of Spring had been spent in recovery nursing a bad back, and bruised toes, courtesy of the aforementioned house move.  I had hoped that 'volunteer' would help sort the garage but I can't seem to get him to answer his phone....

May/June. My beautiful Leonberger, Brewster has recently been ill and as a result has had to have a leg amputated . Thankfully, he's making a good recovery, having quickly learned how to run on three legs.  Bless!!!

Happy(ish) days...

Sue x 

New year

Happy 2015

Sue x

It's Christmas!!!

Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall

It's the time that every Santa has a ball

Does he ride a red nose reindeer

Does a tun-up on his sleigh

Do the fairies keep him sober for a day

x

Neighbourly 'relations'

I've just returned from a particularly entertaining lunch with my fabulously mad friend Janey. We somehow got onto the subject of problem neighbours, and through gritted teeth, she recounted a recent incident with her own 'neighbour from hell'.... 

It appears that it all started, (as most disputes do) because of a garden fence that Janey had constructed to create some extra privacy.  "Well, I do like to indulge in a little nudy sunbathing from time to time" Janey exclaimed rather defensively. (and a little loudly, judging by the expression on the faces of our fellow diners).  Warming to the subject and encouraged by her newly acquired audience, (and a few glasses of vino),  she then went on to describe what happened between her and the neighbour 'post fence'... 

Apparently, according to Janey, she arrived home to find herself confronted on the doorstep by, in her words, 'the harriden from next door'.  From what I can gather, there was an exchange of words, (well more like wailing and gnashing of teeth),  which went as follows ...

Harriden, red faced and blustering, "we need to talk"

Janey, maintaining a calm and polite presence, (she says), "Oh! Why's that?"

Harriden, by now borderline hysterical, and beyond furious, exclaims loudly, (and I can't quite believe she actually says this) "there's been an erection!!"

Janey, trying to keep a straight face, but failing spectacularly, replies with "congratulations, I'm sure they're few and far between in your house"...

Needless to say, that was pretty much the end of the altercation...

Note to self, don't ever take on Janey ...

Sue x

Things that go bump in the night!!!

Happy Halloween all...On this most spooky of days I thought I'd share a recent scarey experience with you...

For a while now I've been of the opinion that I share my humble abode with a 'presence' and, after a number of unexplained incidents, which had me hiding behind the sofa, I decided to investigate.  Scared witless, and with my trusty guardians, (my two dogs Brew and Moll and Bonbon the cat), in tow I did a search of the house.  Before long I found something I hadn't noticed before, a rather sinister looking image in the form of a face carved into the stone of the fireplace....This, I thought, is not good, and after a bit of research on line I had a plan of action.  The internet helpfully informed me that, in order to get rid of the offending image I had to arm myself with, some salt, (to sprinkle on it), the usual crucifix, and errr, holy water, (rather surprisingly, available to purchase on line)..

And so, there I was at the dead of night, (why on earth didn't I decide to do this during daytime?!!), alone, as my trusty companions had abandoned me in favour of a nap, about to embark on a spot of ghost busting.....After assembling  my 'weapons', including my alternative, ( I couldn't bring myself to order any) 'home made' holy water which consisted of some herbs and plenty of oils,  I prepared for my supernatural battle. (I'm starting to think 'The Exorcist' now!!!) Be afraid, be very afraid!!!

Fast forward an hour or so and, despite my heroic efforts, the aforementioned image is still clearly visible so, after some thought I decide on drastic action.. A few blows with a lump hammer, a lot of dust, and enough commotion to waken the living as well as the dead, and, hey presto sinister image gone!!!!

All enquiries for ghost busting bookings can be made via my agent!!!

Sue x

Turnips and other vegetables

One of life's true pleasures, in my opinion, is a lovely afternoon tea.  Gorgeous sweetie morsels to enjoy with piping hot tea served in delicate china cups, what a treat!!!  A good idea for a meet up with a friend of mine, I thought.  A spot of shopping and tea somewhere nice.

So it was with aching feet, (shopping after all is a very physical business) and parched throats we sought out a suitable place to enjoy our 'tea break'.  Unfortunately as it was busy and crowded we struggled to find somewhere  suitable.  After a while, and desperate, we decided on a coffee shop neither of us had tried before but it seemed nice enough so in we went.  We ordered at the counter were given a card to identify us and sat down.  What followed next had us in stitches.   Some bright young thing, probably the owner, had devised an interesting alternative to table numbers.....Vegetable names!!! Yes really!!  All we heard for the duration of our stay was..."Carrot, where's carrot?" and then a few minutes later, "broccoli"...followed by "Swede" And then it was out turn ... The waitress walked towards us, tray in hand and sporting a huge grin, "Turnip, Turnip? Ah Yes, there you are!"... 

Happy days

Sue x

Frocks and fragrance

As you probably have read on previous blogs I'm having lots of fun trading old family photos with my cousin in Australia.  We were inseparable as children and got up to all sorts of adventures. This was obviously well before the days of 'elf n safety' and included everything from tree house dwelling to the kidnap and ransom of younger siblings, (a certain young brother never did fully recover from being tied up and locked in a wardrobe)....

Anyway, one of our favourite activities, after seeing the film Mary Poppins was to attempt to fly.  This, we thought, could be achieved by parachuting off the garage roof with my Dad's open golf umbrella.  Needless to say this did not end well, and, much to our parents relief, we decided to turn to other less dangerous things.  Having one day delved into the contents of my Mum's perfume boxes, I was convinced we could be the next Coco Chanel and start our own perfumery.  How difficult could it be??!!!  Firstly, obviously, we would need lots of rose petals, of the fragrant variety.  And where would we get said petals?  Well. That, to us was the easy bit.  Dawn raids on all the neighbouring gardens.  For some reason, as can be seen in the photo, we decided to dress up for the occasion.  This of course seriously hampered our get away and it was only a matter of time before we were caught. I guess you could say red handed!!!

Back in the present, and smelling sweetly of traditionally made perfume, I'm enjoying this lovely late summer, early autumn sunshine.  The garden is still in bloom and my dogs are enjoying their romps in the fields.  Happy days!!!

Sue x